A little bit.

Hi. It been awhile since my last update. A real while. 

"All I need is a little love in my life"
"All I need is a little love in the dark"

I notice that, I rarely have someone to talk to, or just someone to waste time together. I just rarely have someone in mind. Or maybe I have so many in mind, its just that I'm too afraid to ask because that person would not want to spend their precious time with me. Since that person may have a better person to spend time together with, beside me of course.

Some might think I just immersed with my own anime world, or my own korean world. But that just a way for me to spend my time less-lonely, even I get even lonelie after watching any drama or anime or even with just hearing songs, any kind of songs actually. 

I find it really hurts, knowing that, I have no one to have lunch together, or someone to talk to about this lonely life of mine, and I even have no one to ask me out for a movie or whatever. Maybe no one has ever thought of having lunch with me perhaps? Or maybe the only person would want to have lunch with me lived far away? Or maybe no one even have time to have lunch with me who work way too far. Such a sad life, isn't it?

I know. Allah is always with me, hearing what I want to say. Help me get through this sad life. Give me strenght to get trough everything. I know I shouldn't feel lonely. But I just don't know how to get over this lonely feeling. 

I used to try my very best to make everyone feel needed, to feel that they are not alone, to feel that I am and I will always willing to listen to every single thing, to feel that I am willing to do anything  I can to cheer them up, even I know I didn't do that well, and turn out I hurt people way more than I cheer them up. Still, I tried my best.

Somehow I wish that people know even when I seem I dont care, I actually care, I just decide to stop showing. Because I just realized, if you care more, you hurt more. But, somehow it hurts knowing that no one ever want to talk to me first. 

I dont even know what I'm writing. I just feel a little bit lonely. Just a little bit. I think?